In honor of this week where all of us here in America stuff our faces, let me amuse you with a conversation that happened a couple of months ago.
It was the first time I went "running" after I had Adoration. "Running" is in quotations because well, that is a strong word for what happened that day.
The conversation was between my mind and my body. My body was bucking up in protest. Enjoy.
Body: No. NO. NOOOOO!!!!!! What are YOU doing?
Me: Listen, I know it's been a while but we really need to kick our butt into shape.
Body: Seriously? Don't you understand what I'VE been through?
Me: I totally understand and I really appreciate all the sacrifices you've made. But the truth is, you've gone a little soft and you know it.
Body: I hate you.
Me: You can't hate me. You ARE me.
Body: I'm pretty sure running is worse than childbirth.
Me: Don't be sarcastic. It's not helping.
Body: It's HOT.
Me: Really? Can you please stop whining and arguing with me? This is taking way too much mental fortitude.
Body: How about we just go inside where it's nice and cool and do that prenatal yoga video instead?
Me: Nice try. That video does not count as exercise now that I am no longer pregnant. Plus, it makes me sleepy.
Body: Can we walk now?
Me: Just a LITTLE longer. You CAN do it.
Body: Okay, can we walk NOW?!?!?!?
Me: Okay, fine.
Body: Thank you. I thought I was going to die. Now how about we go get some ice cream?
Me: I'm ignoring you now. LALALALALA.
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