Sunday, November 7, 2010

On Comparison

I'm fairly new to blog-world. Two years ago I didn't even know what a blog was...now I am kind of addicted. Blogs remind me of magazines (and I LOVE a good magazine) except they are even more interesting because they are more personal. They read as authentic because they are by real people talking about their real lives, and their real insights.

I have noticed a negative side of blogs...especially "mommy" blogs. They can perpetuate comparison. For some reason, as women, comparison is such a temptation. We see glimpses of lives, of families. Our own lives can seem very far from that endlessly creative, always trend-setting mom, who's already got her body back, with wit to spare, and Gap-ad dressed children.
There are times when I've thought, "ummm....does anyone else find themselves in their pajama's all day, busting into tears at the sight of their stretch marks, or battling feelings of guilt for just wanting a couple hours alone?" And the answer is yes. All of us. We all do. We are mothers. We are a beautiful, imperfect mess.

There are so many other potential areas for comparison. The Working Mother vs. the Stay At Home Mother. The WAY we mother....cloth diapers vs. disposables, Dr. Sears vs. BabyWise, et cetera. et cetera.

Even our children can be caught in the cross-hairs of our tendency to compare. Thoughts like, "Her baby is already sleeping through the night? Should mine? Am I doing something wrong?" creep in. Expectations can be set on the way we see other mothers and their children. The truth is every child is different. Every Mama is different....but we love. There is beauty in our individuality and there is beauty in our imperfect love.

I hate comparison. I hate that I find myself doing it sometimes. And I have. Both to build myself up AND tear myself down as a mother, as a woman, as a person.

I want to give grace and encouragement to other mamas out there....and to give grace to myself as well. I want to be a person that boasts in my weakness rather than my strength.

Yes, please read my blog and ooh and ahh over my sweet, little princess, but please don't let the way I mother, my life, make you feel like any less of the super-momma, woman, friend, person that you are. I try to keep my blog positive but know that I am not perfect, my life is not perfect. and my child is not perfect but it is all such a beautiful mess. Hopefully, you will leave my blog inspired, with a couple of laughs, and maybe even touched...and yes, thinking about how absolutely adorable my daughter is. :)

Me and my girl...
on a day where we never made it out of our pajamas.



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5 comments:

  1. Kristina, I love reading your blog. Not being a mom yet, I can still very much relate to never getting out of your pajamas through out the day. Not because i am lazy, but because of working form home and owning a business.
    Keep on writing and inspiring. It is wonderful to read different ladies takes on life.

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  2. Pajama days are common here at the Bee House. In some ways your mommy skin gets much thicker as you move through the journey of parenthood. ((HUGS))

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  3. we are all so broken...i see it in my parenting failures most and it grieves me. i try to encourage my pregnant-for-the-first-time friends to feel free to disregard any unsolicited advice that i accidentally give because there are sooo many right and good ways to do things and SO many strong opinions out there about pretty much everything...oh to keep my eyes on Jesus instead of myself and how i measure up to others...

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  4. Thank you for posting this. I too, try to be positive in my blog, but I have felt lately that I need to post 'the real story'. Encouragement and being to positive I think can bring people down and make them feel discouraged about their own lives. Thank you for posting this inspiration in blogging!! :)

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