Thursday, March 8, 2012

On a Personal Note


    I struggle with knowing how much personal content to share on this blog. When I first started a blog, only close friends really read it, and the intention was to keep them clued in with my life. My family didn't even know I had one. So it was a no brainer. Now it's a little more difficult. My blog isn't super popular or anything, nor am I trying to get it to be, but it is a reality that more than just my close friends read it. Now this blog is a combination of a personal family album with some extra stuff thrown in. I like to think, that in real life, I am a pretty transparent person. The internet is a little trickier. I don't mind sharing personal content that just involves me, it's the personal stuff that involves other people I have trouble with. I don't want to say anything I will regret later, or that I would regret my daughter reading later on, or that could hurt someone regardless of my feelings towards them at the time. 

I've debated sharing this for some time, and if I did, how to do it.  But it has been a huge part of my lately, and is the reason why I haven't posted many other personal things. This kinda takes the cake right now. I want to be respectful but I don't want to hide under a rock either and pretend like none of this is happening.  

This has been a great time of change for my little family. We moved away from a close knit community and a city we loved to a brand new state where we didn't know anybody. Despite the growing pains, it's been a good move for us, which I'll talk about another time. Other changes have been not so easy. 

Not long after we moved, my parents marriage started to unravel.  Well...it's probably been unraveling for a long time. But the events that brought everything to light weren't pretty, with many lies, deceptions, and dishonorable behaviors and attitudes. It's been a stressful time for me, having to come to terms with the falling apart of my parents marriage, having to navigate a relationship with someone I don't recognize anymore, and be a support to members of my family. 

This isn't a "woe is me" kind of tale, because I realize so many people go through this all the time. And this world is filled with heartaches. But it is still hard and I am still in the middle of it. I'm trying to figure out what forgiveness looks like in this situation. Not just what it looks like, but how to do it. I'm trying to figure out how to navigate a relationship with a family member that has obviously changed. And I'm trying to cling to One who is always good and never changes. I'm trying to be the best wife and mother I know how to be, with me and my husband working hard to write a much different story for our family. 

That is all I really feel comfortable sharing, though at one point, out of anger, I would've shared all the sordid details. I don't want to talk bad about anyone though, especially when it's family and especially when it's in the public eye. You just can't undo that kind of stuff.  But I am trying to honest about what's going on in my life. So I've kept the details spare and have tried to stick to how it's affecting me personally. 

Unfortunately, life can't always be love letters, ocean views, and adorable toddlers. So if I get a little quiet on this blog from time to time, just know we are living life over here and all that it encompasses. 


Much Love,

Kristina

16 comments:

  1. Really sorry to hear about your parents, Kristina, that's tough. x

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  2. My heart hurts along with you. Only a few short weeks after Jordan and I moved to Texas, my parents also divorced in a very ugly, hateful manner. After being married for 27 years, it was incredibly difficult for me to come to terms with this "new normal." Even now, 6 years later with stepparents and additional divorces, my parents barely resemble the people they once were. I hate to know that this will forever change the relationship I have with them- not to infer that we have a poor relationship, it's just different.

    I'm sorry.

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  3. I enjoy your blog and will support it whatever direction you go. I will pray for you and your family during this hard time. I can not imagine what you are dealing with. Know that the strength of the Lord is forever with you, thanks for this post:)

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  4. so hard sweet friend! thanks for sharing your heart...don't know if you like john piper or not, but i recently found this little excerpt about bitterness so encouraging

    http://www.desiringgod.org/blog/posts/how-to-fight-bitterness

    not to say you are bitter or anything. by God's grace, you will not be...always the challenge to let the hard things of life draw us to the Savior's side. praying for you.

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    1. I do enjoy some John Piper now and then. Looking forward to listening to this. Thanks, friend.

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  5. praying for peace and grace throughout this diffiult time.

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  6. I'm so sorry for this. After I moved out, my parents divorced when I was 19...after 30+ years of marriage. Just because we're older, doesn't make it any easier, especially dealing w/ a new significant other of my father and new family dynamics (I'm 31 now though). Since both my husband's and my parents are divorced we are THAT MUCH MORE committed to making our marriage work and taking our commitment extremely serious. My heart and prayers go out to you and your family during this challenging chapter. God will bring you through it.

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  7. Yuck. I hate this, Stine. :( So sorry that you are having to go through it. I can't imagine being 'old' makes it any easier...just...yuck. But on the bright side: SEE YOU IN TWO DAYS!

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  8. Im sorry this is happening. I can relate very much to wanting to be aware of others when sharing things. Marc and I had a huge emotional upheaval with both sets of parents when we left home and as much as our story is beautiful to me I would hate to hurt them by sharing it online.
    xo

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  9. I know the kind of pain you're dealing with and I'll be praying for you and your family members. Last year the Lord orchestrated some really amazing healing for me (and other family members) regarding my own parents' divorce, even though their marriage fell apart ten years ago. It was huge for me and involved repentance and apologies that I thought would never come. I pray He does big things for you and your family, even where they seem unlikely right now.

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  10. ((HUGS)) I also had to deal with a divorce after I moved out and started our own little marriage. It really shook me for quite some time, as I tried to figure out what happened to my foundation. Hang in there. Brandon and I are fighting for our marriage too. It's easy to let it get set on the back burner with four kiddos but we have to actively work on it to change our family's legacy. With God's help and humble hearts, we can do it!

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  11. Stumbled upon your blog and found this post, love it. So honest and true and you made me think about what i should be writing on my blog in the future too...thank you. Hope things get better soon for you. Lots of love

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  12. Thank you so much for your kind words everyone.

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  13. Kristina! I had no idea and I was just with you for a week! I promise to not let myself fall behind on blog reading anymore!!! I hate that this is going on and I will be praying for you all through this junk! I wish we could have talked about it, but know you can always call! I've been through my fair share of divorce... I so enjoyed spending time with you, James and Adoration; my Spring Break, Birthday, and our 10th Anniversary of Friendship, really!!! Here's to MANY, MANY, more!!!

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  14. love you sweet lady! praying for peace and grace during this time

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